But today it was time for a break. Melissa and Nick have been eyeing up some toys in the Toy Sale catalogues. They've been carrying the catalogues around the house, leaving them strategically perched in places for me to see. They wanted to go shopping with just Mummy - no Daddy and no Jessica. Now that doesn't mean that Daddy and Jessica are unwanted, it just means that they love having my undivided attention and my wallet! And I do love spending time with them. It doesn't happen very often because I work and I am unable to drive. These times with Melissa and Nick are special moments and they always talk about the times we have been able to have them.
The kids and I had a lovely relaxed lunch - they chose McDonald's fries, sundaes and a drink. Nick being on a gluten free diet extremely limits what he can eat that is take-away, and Melissa being the caring big sister she is, is happy to have the same as him.
After having lunch we walked from one end of the shopping centre to the other to visit the stores with the toy sales. We walked around the stores, feeling like detectives trying to find the specific toys they were after. To the delight of the children they were able to find what they were after, and we chose a Dora doll for Jess to take home.
As we were walking back through the shopping centre, stopping to look in other shops, a sudden thought came into my head. We were blending into the crowd. No one was turning to stare at us. No one was pointing, or snickering or making comments. Society, well the people who constitute society, have said that Melissa's and Nick's faces are now acceptable. Melissa and Nick were oblivious to what I was thinking - they were just being their usual excited selves, happy with their new treasures they were carrying, and trying to get me to spend more money on them!
This sudden realisation brought back my memory of when I finally blended into the crowd - it was after my final surgery when I was 18. Being anonymous was like a giant weight being lifted off my shoulders, and at the time I wanted to dance and sing.
Time will tell what happens in the future.
© 2012 by Jenny Woolsey
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