Blog 16 - Another Miscarriage, Then Baby Makes Two

When Melissa was a year old I found that I was pregnant again. We once again were ecstatic.

Everything was going well and we saw the baby and the heart beating on an ultrasound. A week later though whilst at school, I started to bleed again. Another ultrasound. This one revealed that the baby had died.

We were devastated again. It was doubly devastating as my father had passed away a few weeks before. It wasn't fair I wanted to scream. Two deaths too soon.

I went into hospital the next morning and had another D & C. Again no counselling. We dealt with it on our own. Another baby whose cry we would never hear.

As part of my grieving I made a memorial plaque for my two precious angel babies and hung it up in my bedroom.

After this pregnancy I couldn't conceive. The obstetrician put me on fertility drugs and I had to fill in temperature charts each month. Everything was timed to maximise the possibility of pregnancy occurring. This was not a pleasant time. Each month waiting, hoping, then no pregnancy.

Eventually we did conceive and we celebrated cautiously.

This baby though was strong and caused no problems. Again he started off as Down syndrome with the thick nuchal translucency and again like Melissa, this was discounted. By the time Nick was born the technicians were pretty certain that he had Crouzons too.

Nick was born in 2004. He came 3 1/2 weeks early in the middle of the night, in the middle of a thunderstorm after a stinking hot day. Mum couldn't come to babysit so Melissa was taken to the hospital. My husband had to look after her so I went into the operating theatre on my own.

When Nick was born he didn't cry. I panicked thinking he must have been stillborn. I cried out to the doctors to tell me if he was alright. They told me he was ok...but he did need oxygen and a massage. Until I saw him moving I was not convinced that he was alright.

When they showed Nick to me I saw his bulgy eyes straight away so I didn't need to ask....I knew he had Crouzons too and I fell in love with him instantly.

© 2012 by Jenny Woolsey

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