I loved learning and being at university. I was so proud.
We lived close to the university and I would ride my bike. In winter it was freezing cold and I would be wearing gloves, a beanie and my warmest coat.
In my first semester I had to go to a local school to do prac. My supervising teacher commented on my speech and thought that I should not be a teacher due to the way I talked. I had to talk to my supervising lecturer and had to explain to them about my operation. All was ok...I was allowed to continue on.
I had to battle my shyness. I had to battle my low self-esteem. I had to battle my poor self-confidence. I had to use courage. I had to be brave. I prayed a lot that God would help me. It was hard. My determination and will to be a primary school teacher kept me from giving up. Again my self-esteem was tied to how well I did in my subjects. Luckily I did well.
In second year we had to go out into the rural towns and home school the children on stations. Again my report said that I was shy. I found it easy to work with the children but found it really difficult to interact with the adults.
I joined a local church and would be picked up to go. There I met my first husband. He was tall and dressed in fashionable clothes. He took an interest in me and I was flattered. He owned a car so I could to be driven instead of having to ride my bike. He had a computer which few people had - so wonderful compared to my typewriter! He told me he was a Christian so that also fitted my criteria as well. I was in love with having a boyfriend.
This man was abused as a child and was controlled by his mother. How he was treated was how he treated me. He also mistreated his family's pet cat. But naive, bullied, low self-esteem me, did not know that this not a normal loving relationship and that I should have run as far away from him as I could have...instead I accepted it. I broke up with him once but he came crawling back and I relented. I should not have. This circle I was already entwined in continued for the next 12 years.
After three years I graduated and got a job teaching north of the city.
© 2012 by Jenny Woolsey
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